GOD’S WISDOM FOR HIS PEOPLE, Week 3, Commandments 5 & 6


Being Honorable & Loving Life

The 10 Commandments, Exodus 20

The 5th and 6th Commandments start us on the 2nd stone tablet.  The first tablet began with our relationship to our heavenly father; the second tablet begins with our relationship to our earthly father and mother.   

Today we are going to talk about Honor, Love and Grace as we look at these two commands. 

I.  Honor Parents

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God giving you.” Exodus 20:12

  1. There are     2       parts to this commandment

1. It is about Children Honoring Parents!

2. It is about Parents Being Honorable!

  • Just as success with the first commandment was necessary for a healthy relationship with God, so is success with the fifth commandment necessary for a healthy relationship with others. 
  • Simply put, the way children relate to their parents will determine their success in how they relate to other human beings.

…Not only will it affect the relationship we have with other human beings, but it has a dramatic impact on our relationship with our heavenly father as well.

ILLUS: A study once disclosed that if both Mom & Dad attend church regularly, 72% of their children remain faithful in attendance.  If only Dad attends regularly, 55% remain faithful. If only Mom attends regularly, 15% remain faithful. If neither attends regularly, only 6% remain faithful.  Parents can really have an Impact!!

PROP. SENT: The Bible teaches us that God has placed a high value on the institution of the home, and that much of what we become in life is influenced by the early years and how we respond to our parent’s authority.  This commandment speaks to both children and parents and to society as a whole.

  1. Stages of Relationship Health. We must Navigate Stages in life in order to become healthy adults: (Ephesians 6)

Childhood Stage:  “enforced obedience with love and training”

  • The simple statement by Paul in Ephesians 6:1,

“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for  this is the right thing to do.”

…reflects this early stage, Paul does not elaborate on the philosophy of it, just the simple truth of it!

Youth Stage:  “willful obedience produces health”

  1. Paul’s point in Eph. 6:2-3 about the 5th commandment and ‘honoring’ parents so that blessings may come may indicate this second phase… “things will go well for you.” Ephesians 6:3a
  2. Willful obedience in youth helps produce a healthy adult who can exercise authority and mutually submit to other authority.

Adult Stage:  “mutual obedience with experiences”

This stage is the result of successful navigation through the first two…

“you will have a long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:3b

  • Most adults that do well with authority have had good experiences with enforced obedience and willful obedience as they grow.
  • When children “respect” and “honor” their parents they learn to respect and honor God.

A Pastor tells the story, “When my daughter lost her last baby tooth, I was weary of the Tooth Fairy and decided it was time to dispel this childhood myths.  “Kelli,” I said, “You know how the Easter Bunny is really Mommy, and Santa Claus is, too?”  “Yes,” she replied, a bit warily.  “Well, there’s one more person who is really me. Can you guess who that is?” Slowly, Kelli’s eyes grew big as saucers and her mouth dropped open. In a small, awe-filled voice, she said, “God?”

For these reasons it is important that we model God’s love and authority in the right way, this enables our children to honor God as they honor us.


“Fathers (or “parents”) do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

????? pat?r, pat-ayr’; a  primary word; a “father”:—father or parent.

  1. A. The 5th commandment speaks to both Children and Parents!
  1. While Paul is quick to point out how important it is for children to obey their parents he is equally quick to point out how important it is for parents to be honorable in their dealings with their children!
  • ?Paul Tells Parents “do not provoke your children to anger”: to not be unreasonable with their children.
  • ?As godly parents we are to exercise authority in a responsible way, not an emotional way.
  • The best way to do this is to model what it means to be a Christian.

…Our use of authority as parents can have a dramatic impact on how our children navigate the stages of life

ILLUS: In Ramsey County, Minnesota, ninth and tenth graders were interviewed recently about their dads. They were asked this question: “What comes to mind when you think of the word ‘dad’?” Answers came immediately from both ends of the spectrum. One end of the spectrum said, “I think of the word jerk.” Others thought of the words angry, mad, and absent.  On the other hand, some of the young people said, “I think of wholeness, kindness, security, safety.” Dad is an immensely powerful word.”

  1. Our authority should be based on principles and not whims or personal desires, rather principles guided by God’s Word.
  2. Unreasonable demands in childhood usually mean rebelliousness in youth, and unreasonable demands in youth mean angry adults that do not respond to authority well.
  3. God helps us to be responsible in the use of authority and reflect God presence in our lives!

ILLUS: Like a father and son mountain climbing team, the son spoke to his father ahead of him and said, “choose a good path dad, I’m right behind you”.

  • The way we reflect God’s authority in our lives can have a dramatic impact on whether our kids love the Lord themselves!

III. Live in grace

“You must not murder.” Exodus 20:13

  1. Life is no longer a sacred thing, it is a dispensable thing. 
  • It is not surprising that the further our society moves away from God’s commandments the less sacred society considers those things of God.  And murder is on the rise!!
  1. The 6th commandment was given to Israel to teach them to love life, to consider it so valuable that the taking of life would result in the loss of your own life.
  2. The Bible teaches us that life is a sacred gift from God, that any society or individual that despises the value of life will lose their way.
  • We are to love life and seek to preserve and sanctify it.

B. Preserve Life: Deal with Anger, Ephesians 4:26

“Don’t sin by letting anger control you.”

? When you experience Anger, take action:

  1. Counseling can be great Accountability.
  2. A Friend or Small Group can help us Open Up.
  3. Find Bible Studies, Books, Sermons…on Anger.
  • Obviously one of the most important ways we can do this is by showing our children how to deal with anger in their lives by how we ourselves deal with anger in our lives.

ILLUS: Chris Carrier of Coral Gables, Florida, was abducted when he was 10 years old. His kidnapper, angry with the boy’s family, burned him with cigarettes, stabbed him numerous times with an ice pick, then shot him in the head and left him to die in the Everglades. Remarkably, the boy survived, though he lost sight in one eye. No one was ever arrested.  Recently, a man confessed to the crime. Carrier, now a youth minister at Granada Presbyterian Church, went to see him.  He found David McAllister, a 77-year-old ex-convict, frail and blind, living in a North Miami Beach nursing home. Carrier began visiting often, reading to McAllister from the Bible and praying with him. His ministry opened the door for McAllister to make a profession of faith. No arrest is forthcoming; after 22 years, the statute of limitations on the crime is long past. In Christian Reader (Jan/Feb 98), Carrier says, “While many people can’t understand how I could forgive David McAllister, from my point of view I couldn’t not forgive him. If I’d chosen to hate him all these years, or spent my life looking for revenge, then I wouldn’t be the man I am today, the man my wife and children love, the man God has helped me to be.”

C. Preserve Life: Grace for Your Enemies, Matthew 5:43-48

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heave.”

  1. Unrestricted Warmth – “But I say, love your enemies!”
  1. Jesus identifies what matters…loving others!!
  1. Hate never accomplishes Good, it only injures, and not just others, but ourselves as well!

? Jesus didn’t teach us to love our enemies for only their good.          It is for our own good too.

  • Rather than hate enemies, we are to love them and pray for them.

It is hard to hate those whom you pray for!

  1. The fact that God loved us when we were His enemies is what ultimately transformed us from enemies of God to the friends of God because we are in Christ!
  1. Unwavering Care – “If you are kind only to your friends”
  1. We can stop all the hate and murder through Loving Care!
  2. Obviously we will Never be perfect in our love toward our enemies, but we can seek to live like Christ

? It means to find a way to destroy our tendency to become angry and instead learn to value others!

? It means more than just being at peace with others, it means actually going out on a limb to love them!

  1. Undeniable Grace – “Pray for those who persecute you!”
  1. Take a stand for your faith.  Live out your grace by praying for those who are against you.
  2. How can you increase your grace, How can we walk more in love, how can we help stop the hatred and murder?

CONCLUSION: Today we have talked about, Honoring Parents, Being Honorable Parents and Living in Grace.  These three points can change us, change our families and change our world. 

It seems to me that if we can live in health in parenting and it grace in the World, a lot of good will come from it.  Let’s start today to change to be more like these commandments.  Let’s honor God by Honoring our Children and Living in Grace for our Neighbors.